So I Quit Grad School to Focus on My Writing

Long-time readers of this blog will not be that surprised-- I believe that I've announced that I was "going to get serious about my writing" at least twice, here-- but the decision did surprise me, as well as a few people who had not known me as long.

And since the same questions seem to come up over and over again, I decided that I would just answer them here and then link to Facebook, and then hopefully everyone will have theirs answered. Or, mostly answered. I hope. Here goes!

Q: What are you working on?
A: Four main projects: a biography of my dad; a middle school cookbook; this blog; and a young adult fantasy. The fantasy is my main project. I spend as much time on the biography, but since I am sort of still in the collecting-data phase for that project, it is much less towards the finished end of the spectrum.

Q: Cool! Young Adult Fantasy-- like Harry Potter!! Doesn't that mean you'll be rich?
A: Not... really. I mean, sure, I have ideas about what I would do with buckets of cash, but the truth is that "wildly successful" for me would mean I could, first, move out from living with my mom, and second, buy my own house. And, once I have enough years in my job to be able to carry my fabulous health insurance with me, to quit my job. Maybe. I actually really enjoy my job; I just don't love that I get paid so little that I have to live with my mother.

The issue of how much/little I get paid (about a third of a teacher salary) is a whole can of worms, but suffice it to say that I think the school system would be better served if it paid all the adults it emplyed a living wage. I know they can't afford it. They can't afford what their budget even now. And yet, I believe that if the pay went up, the candidate pool would suddenly and mysteriously grow both larger and more qualified, and the work that got done would be of much higher quality, thus saving money in the long run. *sigh* /end rant.

Oh, right, you wanted to know about my future income. Huge quantities of money would bring their own headaches, which I am not really interested in. Moderate quantities of money (and research backs me up here) would, given my current income level, have a significant positive impact on my happiness. So, that's what I'm aiming for, and luckily that is also what is much more realistic to aim for. Publishing books-- really, making entertainment of any kind-- is a bit of a gamble, but part of the reason I am taking extra time now (see below) is because I am focused on that goal of producing steadily high-quality work. Only time will tell if this was a good strategy for me in the end.

Q: Cool! Young Adult Fantasy-- I LOVE young adult fantasy!!! Can I read your stuff?
A: Not quite yet. Sorry. I am a painfully slow writer, though I believe/hope (but really, I do believe) that this will change as I become a more experienced writer. If you would like to be a beta reader, whenever that may happen, you are welcome to email me at corneliaphilosophene at the email service provided by Google, and I will put your name and email on my list of beta raders. And I even JUST NOW started a Google doc for this very purpose.

Q: How long do you think it will be until you have something for beta readers?
A: My best guess is that it will be a bare minimum of one year, but possibly two or even three. But I'm hoping for one.

Q: But you'll start in on grad school again in the summer, or whenever you find one that's right-- won't you?
A: You know, the first couple of times I got this question, I said "yes," but since then I've realized that the answer is "no."

This is the thing. I've known for-- mmm-- at least fifteen years that I wanted to be a writer, and for the last ten that I also should be a writer. I had always thought that I would get a "real" job, then in my spare time, write, and then my career would take off. But that isn't how things have worked out.

I remember once being at a wedding luncheon at a table with a woman who had a great job as a voice actor. Someone else at the table was congratulating her. She said thank you, because it really was a dream job for her, but she also pointed out that it was the only job she could find. Even the local university's custodial crew had rejected her before she finally, in desperation, applied for a job which she was afraid was too cool for her.

I have tried a number of different things-- things which have worked for other people. For pity's sake, the program I just quit was a librarianship program, and other people shift from being librarians to being writers all the time. But the realization I finally came to is that just because other people could do it doesn't mean that I can do it.

Thus: my second job is just. writing. And I must say, while I had thought I was "getting serious" about my writing before, there are few things to light a fire under one's tail like the prospect of spending one's forties, after one's thirties, living with mama. I mean, I love her. But there comes a point.