So, when young persons get to be around four or five years old, they begin to pick up on the fact that jokes exist.** They hear someone tell a joke, then they hear someone else laugh, and they aren't sure what is going on, so they ask. Sometimes, someone is able to explain why it was funny, but sometimes explanation fails, so to the child, it comes out something like: you say a couple of things that don't make sense and then someone laughs. And then they think: that's not a bad deal! I should try that!
And then they do. And, as good language learners, when they don't get it right the first time, they try again. And then again. And again.
This stage can be very trying for parents. Do you laugh? Do you pretend to laugh? And what do you do when your five-year-old is on their hundredth unfunny joke of the day and you just want to scream?
The thing is, the vast majority of linguistic forms that children encounter in day-to-day life are produced spontaneously, so it makes sense that they assume that jokes fall into this category, too. It's not the kid's fault that they have no idea that (funny) jokes are fiendishly difficult to make up on the fly.
But, as I mentioned in the title, I have a different perspective. I think that unfunny jokes are adorable in the way that, say, watching a four-year-old wash dishes is adorable. If your goal is to get the dishes clean, you will be in trouble. If your goal is to let the kid have fun while trying out something grownup, and to encourage them along the way, you will find much more happiness.
Here, let me give an example. My sister just visited with two of her children, the younger of whom is squarely in the unfunny jokes stage (which, yes, is what prompted this post). This is one of hers:
Niece: Knock knock.
Myself: Who's there?
Niece: Turkey.
Myself: Turkey who?
Niece: Turkey that doesn't exist! while laughing so hard at her own joke that she can hardly stand up, as is normal.
So, look. She knows the basic form: knock knock, who's there, give a name, answer with the name + who, and then-- and this shows a fair amount of sophistication, IMHO-- the very last line, the punchline, should incorporate the name with a surprise ending that upends the original expectation set up by that name in the first place.
I actually laughed at this one. I thought it was so delightful that she had gotten so close to something actually funny. I even retold it to a couple of other people, who because they don't love unfunny jokes as much as I do did not laugh. *sigh*
Anyway, hopefully this post has left you with a renewed-- or perhaps just new-- appreciation for unfunny jokes. The best defense against them-- besides learning to appreciate them-- is to take the time to teach the poor kid an actual joke.*** After that, supposing they can read, you can put a joke book in their hands --and even kids who have outgrown unfunny jokes frequently appreciate a joke or riddle book.****
Also: good luck! If you have a kid going through this stage and you know me well enough to have my phone number, you are welcome to call me up, and if I have time, I will listen to a couple of unfunny jokes and laugh at them. If you don't know me well enough to have my phone number, I would love to get (these kind of) unfunny jokes in the comments.
*To be clear, I'm not talking about jokes that merely don't fit one particular person's sense of humor. I'm talking about jokes that nobody would think were funny unless they were thinking about them in a very particular way (which I will get to in a moment).
**It isn't that children younger than five can't be funny or make you laugh on purpose, but this verbal unit called a joke or a riddle starts appearing on their radar around this time.
***You will then hear that joke approximately 50,000 times a day, because making others laugh is powerful magic, but at least it won't be one unfunny joke after another.
****I feel compelled to mention that if a child was not in the habit of cornering friends, relatives, acquaintances, and passing strangers and then assaulting them with multiple riddles and/or jokes, the acquisition of a joke or riddle book can prompt such behavior. Maybe give a manners book at the same time? I don't really have a solution for this one other than ongoing, kind, but firm discussions about when, where, and how it is and is not appropriate to tell jokes.
