Child Abuse Prevention Training

 A new school year is about to begin in our district. This means, among other things, that I have been diligently completing online training modules, including one which is sometimes known among staff members as "child abuse prevention training."

But it isn't, not really. It's actually a training on what our legal responsibility is if we suspect a child has been abused: which is to say, we must report it promptly to the proper authorities. I've cried after work every single time I've had to submit one of these reports, BTW, but having emotions about a legal responsibility doesn't absolve you of said responsibility. Also, it's not a huge percentage of days. I've only ever had to submit at most one a year, and my job for the past several years has involved so little direct interaction with the kids that I haven't had a day like that for quite some time. 

I've been thinking about what it would be like if it were actual child abuse prevention training. If I were designing it-- and to be clear, I'm well aware that no one has asked me-- but if I were designing Child Abuse Prevention Training, I would have the first part be on how to recognize your emotions, the next part on how to appropriately deal with your emotions, and the last part on how much more important it is to be in control of yourself than of any child. 

For good measure, I'd probably throw in a few things about how to get children to do things without being abusive to them, because I know I am personally most at risk of child abuse when I feel like I have to get a kid to do a thing that for whatever reason isn't happening. Now that I think about it, I'd probably also have a bit about what is going through children's heads when they act a certain way. I've noticed an ever-greater tendency in our culture to attribute adult-style motivations and ideas to these young aliens who most often have no idea what is going on, want desperately to win our approval, and haven't learned yet how to regulate their own emotions (which, it's that much more difficult for them to do so when we are giving them poor examples ourselves). Maybe I'd end on a happy note with several videos of people telling "That could have gone south, but I managed to figure out how to stay in control of my emotions, ask for help as needed, and prevent child abuse" stories.

Thank you to Project Gutenburg for making this out-of-copyright image available!
I think this lady looks pretty calm and collected even though one of her charges looks less than enthusiastic about nap time (or wherever they're going) don't you?

Meet the ferns

The Lady Ferns were the first to get their names because it seemed silly for ladies to not have names. I'm not sure why my phone in all its wisdom has decided to give Lady Elisabeth such different lighting than Lady Katherine; I took these photos mere seconds apart, and the ferns themselves are pretty close together.

Lady Katherine

Lady Elisabeth

After that the Hay-Scented Fern told me he could be called Charlie, after my grandpa (who never actually went by Charlie, but whatev). Because I know you are wondering: no, Charlie doesn't smell like anything, hay or otherwise, to me. 

Charlie, poor Charlie.

I feel pretty bad about how poorly Charlie is doing. First, I left him in his pot for about half of last summer, literally overshadowed by the ladies beside him (though I didn't notice that part at the time), and only watering him when I noticed everyone was looking a bit droopy. Then I got so tired of trying to find spots in my yard to plant ferns which hadn't already been cris-crossed by too-large tree roots that I gave up and planted Charlie in an inadequate hole. You can see the result. *sigh*. I can only hope that he will continue to survive, and eventually thrive. Also I'm backing up that hope with extra water and fertilizer and encouraging words.

Dasher and Dancer are next to each other, and Donner is over on the far side of the yard, next to the fence rather than the sidewalk. Dancer was my only Christmas fern last year, but I ended up planting Dasher and Donner this year. As with other Christmas-named plants, these are named for that fact that they still have foliage during the cold time of year, when Christmas is in the northern hemisphere.

Dasher

Dancer

Donner

I decided on the names for the Ostrich Ferns last. The others had practically named themselves. I finally decided to go with Edward and Edwina when Mrs. Weathercolour suggested it; I'd thought of it, since I used to have a picture book titled "Edward the Emu," but her suggestion cinched it. (Ostriches aren't emus, but we both figured: close enough.) I feel a little bad for Edwin and Edwina, since the cicadas liked them an awfully lot. In the weeks since they got all that love the eggs have been hatching out, and Edwin and Edwina's fronds have been dying off rather much. And yet, they started out quite hale and hearty and happy, better equipped to deal with that kind of stress than probably anything else in the garden, so I'm not too worried for them.

Edwin

Edwina