Saturday, January 21, 2012

What the widows know

Since working in the D.C. temple every Friday for the past couple of years, I probably know more widows than I'd ever known before in my life, but I think I had noticed this before. Sometimes, they seem... extra-serene. It is sort of odd, since you would think that they would have more cause to go through life saddened by all its unexpected nastiness than a lot of other people.

But this is what I've recently noticed, and this time from personal experience. When something truly unimaginably awful happens, it can come to you with more force than ever before how much of life you really, really can't control. And that's freeing! It's strange to think that perhaps much of our sadness in life may be due to our worrying that somehow we're supposed to stop bad things from happening when we truly can't, but perhaps it is so.

In short: I am, in certain ways, doing better than ever in my life. I've caught a glimpse of the widows' serenity. I can't say I would recommend this method (for finding peace of mind) to anyone-- waaay too much pain not to try to find a different way-- but, in the end, I cannot help but feel deeply thankful for all of my life's experiences. (But try to remind me of this the next time I am in the middle of an awful crisis, and I may just slug you. I doubt I've gained that much perspective.)


Beth said...

I totally get that! I have to admit, I have never gotten to that zen-level where I can say "I'm grateful for my trials"... but I can honestly say "I'm grateful to be who I am, and my trials are what made me".

Day said...