Maybe it shouldn't be funny...

but it is.


I bought a plane ticket a week ago today. I meant to buy one for Freiburg, Germany. Instead, I accidentally bought one for Frankfurt. Because it is expensive to change plane tickets, and because I didn't have any specific plans for particular cities, I've decided that I'm just going to go to Frankfurt.


The other day in the car, my nephews were buckling themselves in to their car seats, pretending that the Big Bad Wolf was coming and that they had to attach themselves to their ziplines so that they could get away. Then their mother got in the car.

"Is that the Big Bad Wolf?" one asked the other.

"No, that's the Big, Good Pig" was the reply.

I had to wait a minute to start the car, because we were both laughing so hard.


A couple of weeks ago, I looked up to see a stark-naked nephew standing in the doorway of my room. "Look!" he said. "The mailman just gave me the mail!" And indeed he had.

Vampire Jellyfish

I have WAY not been keeping up with the stories I've been making up for the neeflings of late; there's a whole spate of witch-princess stories, and then there are the vampire jellyfish that I'm just going to give you the highlights of now.

Oh. The vampire jellyfish were, as usual, not my idea. They are the idea of the resident six-year-old--the one who, with his sister, also has a mania for princess-witches. I have, so far, gotten away with telling about the vampire part of vampire jellyfish only once in the several stories I've told. I would be pleased to keep it that way, so if you see said six-year-old, please don't point it out to him. The stories themselves have been, in my opinion, lacking in plot, so I'm just going to give you the most interesting bits in this post.

Such as: vampire jellyfish have cell phones, though they are an unusual kind of cell phone. Vampire jellyfish are actually quite good at drawing, so they just draw extremely accurate portraits of each other, and the vampire jellyfish cellphone telephone operator looks at the picture and then connects you with the person (/jellyfish) you want to talk to. (Later in the story, the operators have been replaced by computers.) This can lead to problems from time to time; for instance, when you are very tired and hungry and trembling, you might accidentally call the meanest jellyfish in the world instead of calling your grandmother. Or, if your cell phone screen is busted so that it only shows half of the picture you draw, you might not be able to call anyone unless it is the magical good old lady jellyfish that you were kind to earlier, who can help you get away from a predator (yet to be determined; I'm really not sure what things eat jellyfish, though I've promised to look it up).

This morning's monologue.

Let's see if this is as funny on paper (er, as it were) as it was coming out of my mouth. I thought about turning it into a monologue from an unwritten play, but I'm blogging it instead.

This morning I was talking to my sister about the fact that while it is better to be married than to be single, there is not something inherently wrong with me for being single. She said that when you are single, you don't get as many opportunities for growth, and that she was sure that when Heavenly Father wanted to give me that opportunity, he would.

So. Imagine me saying this with my eyes very bright, and my voice very, very sweet.

Yes. I will marry a widower with seven children, who has just been called to be the stake president. And he will be the CEO of a struggling corporation with a thousand employees to feed, and he won't lay any of them off because we are in the middle of The Second Great Depression. But we will have a big garden, and much love [cute, invisible hearts come out of the word "love" as I say it].

Criticism is like Chlorine

or lye.

Used well, you can fix a problem. Use a little too much or use it a little too long, and you wear a hole through the thing you are trying to fix.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Procrastination

And again, I didn't want to do my family home evening (it is evening, but I'm in my office; I do what I can) on procrastination, but I felt like I should-- NOT that I ever engage in such an activity, but maybe I could study procrastination for academic purposes, you know. I kind of didn't want to because I was afraid that reading about procrastination might just be too depressing.

However, (speaking of Marvin J. Ashton, of not-being-afraid-of-budgeting fame-- look at my last posting), I found a conference talk by Elder Ashton called "Straightway" which was really uplifting, and here are the things I copied in to my to-do list to help me along:

Do not doubt your abilities. Do not delay your worthy impressions.

We need to develop the courage to straightway take the first step. We need to remember that children learn to walk only because someone encourages them to take the first step.

May we launch straightway toward setting goals that are gospel oriented, knowing that if we use the talents that are ours—that if we help others, strive for peace, avoid being overly sensitive or overly critical—strength upon strength will be added unto our own abilities and we will move straightway toward greater growth, happiness, and eternal joys.

Budget

So, I am not really an organized person. In many respects. As evidence of this, I put forth that for the last five years running, every single January I have resolved to keep a budget. I wasn't really keeping track, but this last January it hit me: this resolution sounds familiar. I still need to learn how to keep a budget. And I am still afraid of them (budgets).

But

the prophet says the we should be financially prudent, and be frugal and so on, and Marvin J. Ashton gave this lovely talk called One For The Money when I was too small to pay attention to General Conference (and, interestingly enough, in the printed version which they have made into a booklet, they have inside-cover art by Richard G. Scott which is really quite beautiful) and I believe with my heart and soul in following the prophet, so with a sigh, I resolved AGAIN in 2008 to try to keep a budget.

Two days ago I settled in again to do that awful task again. I tend to dread it because I usually don't think I am going to find it emotionally rewarding. The truth is that in the end, I always do feel happy that I have done it, but getting myself to start is very difficult. I do love saving for things, and I've been saving for a camera for I think about six months now, but there have been problems, and I was afraid that I wouldn't make it

but

I just made my savings goal!

And I just realized that the reason I was afraid of budgets is because I was afraid that if I kept them, then I would never get anything I really, really wanted, which would be true if I didn't save for things I wanted. But I do save for things, and budgets DO work, and that makes me really, really happy.

(Hopefully this means that as soon as finals week is over, and I get around to actually buying said camera, you will be getting lots more pictures on this blog than you have in the past (even one is lots more than none);)

Three Delicious (or at least highly edible) things to do with frozen Spinach

You know how whenever there's a new report about whatever essential nutrient you really, really need, they always say it's found in "blah, blah, blah, and leafy greens like broccoli and spinach"?

I really don't like spinach, but in the name of trying to get myself to eat healthier, I keep experimenting, trying to find ways to get myself to eat more. Spinach salad is pretty good, but I will save writing about that for later. For now, I will focus on Our Friend the Package of Frozen Spinach, which avoids some of the problems associated with fresh spinach and is highly store-able, to boot (as long as your freezer is working).

Spinach and Cheese
If your frozen spinach is loose, in a plastic package (this is slightly more expensive but easier to work with, especially if you need to use only some of the spinach at a time), then just dump it into a baking pan which is big enough for it to spread out a little. Something smaller than 9x13 works well for the size of package I usually get.

If you get the cheaper, more compact, more recycle-able cardboard box of spinach, defrost it first, so that you can spread it out without having to use an ice pick to pry the pieces apart. I normally do this in the microwave, but if I have enough forethought, I will move the spinach from the freezer to the fridge the night before. Once it is defrosted, then spread it all over a pan.

Slice some cheese. Now that I think about it, you could also grate it, if you wanted. I have never tried this, but have no reason to believe that it would not turn out well. You could use mozzerella, cheddar, colby jack, gouda, brie, or anything else your heart desires. If you use American Processed Cheese (how the name of my beloved country got permanently associated with that product is something I would like to make someone answer for) then do not tell me.

How much cheese? As much as you want. I would probably use a third of a half-pound brick of cheese to cover one pan of spinach, but it's up to you.

Cook the dish. You can cook it in the microwave, but then the cheese wouldn't brown; you can also cook it in the oven (my preferred method; this also decreases sogginess) for maybe five minutes. At 350 or 400 degrees. I just go until the cheese is melted.

pizza
Take an unbaked pizza crust. Add tomato sauce and whatever spices you want (or, use store-bought pizza sauce). Put on some (defrosted, if it came in a box) spinach. Add whatever other toppings you want (I particularly love artichoke hearts, which are dreadfully expensive but go far when chopped small.) Cover the whole thing with (grated) cheese. Bake it according to the directions which came with the pizza crust, or, if you are using bread dough, bake it at 350 C for ten to fifteen minutes (more for a bigger pizza, less for smaller).

Incidentally, I like to use Semolina, Farina, Germade, Cream-of-Wheat, or whatever you want to call it, to dust the bottom of my pizza crust. The traditional stuff for the bottoms of crusts is cornmeal, but I don't keep cornmeal around my house because for some reason it's prohibitively expensive around here. The wheat-based uncooked hot cereal product works fine for me.

Spaghetti Sauce
I was skeptical when my sister first told me that this tasted good. I mean, Papa Murphy's puts spinach on their super-delicious Vegetarian Deluxe Pizzas, so that makes sense, but putting spinach in spaghetti sauce just seems like it is one of those "hiding" jobs, where if you put in too much of the "secret" ingredient, everyone will take one bite and then refuse to touch the food in question.

I was wrong.

In the case of spaghetti sauce, spinach is the ingredient which insures that there are no leftovers. I am serious. Even just plain frozen spinach in canned tomato sauce makes a darn good red sauce, and if you add just a couple of spices (I usually use basil and nothing else, but you can look up other stuff in a real recipe book) and some fried onions and mushrooms, and a can of drained olive pieces, it becomes so good that people start asking you for the recipe.

A couple of notes on spaghetti sauce:

• I really do think that the organic canned tomatoes really do taste better. They are more expensive, so it's your call to make, but in this case I feel that you receive value for your money, and where I live, they are only twenty cents a can or so more expensive.
  
• Also, wateriness is death to a good sauce, so either drain your spinach and your olives, or else give yourself some time for the sauce to simmer (just start dinner earlier, if it is humanly possible, and read a novel while the "low" setting on the stove does the hard work for you-- umm, but be sure to stir it occasionally).